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Greetings! I'm KnightHeart, co-owner of the Anti-AOL.org domain. You may know me from my posts in Usenet, in the NGs alt.aol and alt.aol-sucks, among others. On this site, I have gathered an unique collection of anti-AOL information and humor, just to give AOLers a chance to make a choice. Articles written by myself and others are on display, as are funny 'insights' into AOL as a whole, pictures mocking AOL, a host of information on how to cancel and contact AOL, and a summary of why AOL sucks. Comparisons are made between AOL 'crapware' and real ISP software, and, in one case, shows how an old DOS program had more features than AOL's recent mail program.
Now, let's get one thing straight: why I'm doing this. There are many people who deserve to be stuck on AOL, and you probably know some. They are the ones who can't, or won't, think for themselves, are too lazy to put effort into anything they do, and they have no desire to learn. They are the ones you would like to slap in the head for being what they are. The person who could do better, but won't because "it's too much work" is perfect for AOL. AOL is also great for moronic kids/teens/loser adults who think webpages detailing who or what they like are in demand. Basically, AOL is the best choice for that type of person that is tolerated, not liked, by anyone intelligent.
However, anyone who doesn't fit that description has a choice. I am here to show those people a better option, an option that will allow them to move up the internet "food chain," rather than remain with the bottom-feeding AOLamers that give all AOLers a bad reputation. Real ISPs are so superior to AOL that a thinking person who wants to enjoy their online time couldn't help but switch from AOL. So, if you are that type of person, this site is for you. Why continue to use a shoddy service that isn't even a direct connection to the internet? Why continue to try and squeeze data through AOL's inferior proxy servers? To hear what I mean, the song file "I Want to Surf, but I Can Barely Crawl" sums up AOL's reliability in connection and use. For a few files that sum up the use of AOL, download this zip file of selected event sounds. To see a humorous movie that pokes a bit of fun at AOL, follow this link to the film, entitled "Searchword: Silverware." A fairly good summary of the AOL experience can be heard by downloading this .wav song file, or the "AOL Commercial" .wav file.
Now, if you are an AOLer, don't get offended, as not all AOLers are "AOLamers" or "AOLosers." Those titles of shame are mostly held by those who act like total, shameless idiots. Hacker wanna-be's, script kiddies, those who use punters, dregs who look for cyber-sex, and 'chat pit wankers' are lumped together as "AOLamers." On AOL, you will find many such 'people,' not to mention scumbag pedophiles who use AOL's service to hunt down little children. If you think that AOL really gives a damn about stopping such people, read about the molester that got to keep his precious AOL account, even after AOL was alerted to his sick practices.
 Know what is really sad? In an 1998 issue of Newsweek, Mr. Pittman, an AOL exec, was quoted as saying "AOL has positioned itself as the entry point to the online world, an especially inviting location for techno-klutzes who can't tell a modem from a mastodon." He insults practically every AOLer on the service, but members continue to pay his salary. Personally, if my ISP stated the equivalent as publicly, I'd drop them in a heartbeat. Wonder no longer why AOLers are referred to as "sheep;" they can't stop following Case and his cronies, even when Case spits in members' faces.
Of course, many AOLamers deserve such scorn and ridicule. Just look at this typical email that is forwarded by the ignorant, greedy, and moronic members who actually believe AOL or Microsoft will pay them big bucks to spread it around. In this particular one, an AOLamer claims his buddies will be paid hundreds of dollars for each mail. Was it sent around? You bet! Were they paid? Hell, no! Are they honestly surprised and bewildered? All the time! At the bottom of the above article is a short segment by an AOLamer asking for help after falling for one of the many fake AOL websites that asks for passwords. Seems that AOLamers will ignore the 'don't give out your password' warning left and right.
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Need AOL tech support?
Clicking the button will give you the same answers they will. :)
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My intent, however, is not to get people off AOL, because I simply don't care what service anyone uses. I simply want to provide opinions and information you can use to make your own judgment on getting, keeping, or dumping AOL. If you do wish to cancel, though, you should read this article on how to cancel. It also contains a small post detailing AOL billing a dead person, and using very, VERY cold line as an excuse to why they kept charging her. Also, read this post detailing the steps you should take to make sure that AOL does NOT use you to continue their reputation for billing people long after the cancel notice. If you wish to know what various AOL email addresses are for, so that you can try (in a vain attempt) to get someone to listen to you, read this list.
If you need to contact AOL, especially to cancel, here are some important numbers (based on various sources):
- 1-800-827-6364 Main Office - Use this number to rant and rave. They'll like it. :)
- 1-888-265-8001 Product Information - Not *real* info, their propaganda.
- 1-888-265-8002 Orders, Upgrades - As if degenerative, 'new' versions are 'upgrades.'
- 1-888-265-8003 Billing - The most important number at AOL...to them.
- 1-888-265-8004 Screen Name/Password inquiries - Need someone else's password? Try here, since AOL will just give it to you.
- 1-888-265-8005 AOL telephone access numbers - Don't bother, get a real ISP.
- 1-888-346-3704 PC Tech Support - In a word: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Just *try* and get some help!
- 1-888-265-8007 Macintosh Tech Support - Same as above. AOL is incompetent with all OSes.
- 1-888-265-8010 DOS Tech Support - As if someone's still using a DOS AOL...
- 1-888-265-8008 Cancellation - YAY!!! The number that will free your mind!!
- 1-888-265-8009 Credit requests - SPAM.
- 1-703-264-1184 International callers - So even people from Guam can complain.
- 0-800-903-910 Member services in France - Yet another reason the French think Americans suck.
- 0-180-531-3164 Member services in Germany - Otherwise known as "The Fourth Reich.
- 0-800-376-5432 Member services in UK - Yellow-teethed Brit babes waiting for your call.
- 1-800-759-3323 TTY for hearing impaired - But, with AOL, this just means tech help speaks slower.
Here is some miscellaneous contact info:
- Contact: AOL on Friday Offices Hours are 9am-6pm
- Customer Care Consultants, America Online, Inc
- Feel Free to Contact by phone:
Steve's Phone Number: 1-703-265-1568
Steve's Fax Number: 1-703-265-1400
Meagan/Lisa: 1-703-265-1568
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AOL weather predicts 'negative zero' temperatures!!! F33r it d00dz!! - Sent in by Colin, unedited.
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Keith's VP Members Services Call: 1-703-265-4812
K.J. Leader: VP CFO: 1-703-448-8700
Lee Singleton: 1-703-265-4964
Janine Dunne: 1-703-265-3283
Tricia Primrose: 1-703-265-1746
ADMIN: 1-703-265-1000
Members Services: 1-703-5666
Trouble: 1-703-265-4670
Trouble: 1-703-265-4003
Legal Department: Call 1-703-918-1495
FAX: 1-703-265-2208
FAX: 1-703-265-2209
Write: America Online
- 12100 Sunrise Valley Drive
- Reston, VA 20191
- Phone: 703.265.4670
If you like what you see, drop me a line. If you wish to link to my site, feel free, but let me know so I can give you a link as well. I have a small animated gif on my Links page, so I'd appreciate it if you used that, and will use yours if you have one.
Check out the Links section for more sites dealing with AOL and other assorted topics.
This site best viewed in 1024 x 768 or higher. Anything less and it'll be a mess. :)
Now, since AOL bought Netscape, which browser do you think is best used here?
 
If you said "Netscape," you are quite incorrect. :)
To view a DHTML description of each section, move your mouse over the link.
Disclaimer: Any and all info, pics, sounds, or whatever you find here do not exist to change your mind about AOL, ISPs, your mom, that weird guy down the street, your favorite flavor of ice cream, nor that nagging suspicion that you shouldn't wash your lucky pair of underwear. This site is for entertainment only, and if you use it to make decisions about whatever internet service you use, then you most likely deserve to stay on, or subscribe to, AOL. :)
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